Stock Market Report – Financial News.

The Jesters are helpfully providing Stock Market information.

Helium was up, feathers were down.  Paper was stationary.

Fluorescent tubes were dimmed in light trading.

Pencils lost a few points.

Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.

Weights were up in heavy trading.

Light switches were off.

Mining equipment hit rock bottom.

Nappies remained unchanged.

Shipping lines remained on an even keel.

The market for raisins dried up.

Balloon prices were inflated.

Batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.

Knives were up sharply.

Cows steered into a bull market.

Hiking equipment was trailing.

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