Members have enjoyed President Andrew’s “Lingua File”  over his term of office. 

Our Jesters now show their appreciation of his erudite contributions by submitting two relevant poems by the amazing poet, Brian Bilston.

GRAMMAR POLICE 

the grammar police got him

split his infinitive open,
removed his colon
and left him lying commatose

the next day he was pronouned dead

full stop

And Now for the Weather

Today is set to be agreeably alliterative

across an assortment of areas

although the occasional metaphor

may cause some faces to cloud.

Idioms will be coming down like  stair rods 

in northern regions, while the south

may experience the odd outbreak of similes,

like an unexpected shower of arrows.

In coastal, littoral, and seaside areas,

synonyms remain likely.

Further inland, sudden gusts of hyperbole

look set to take your breath away

and a series of scattered euphemisms

will have you reaching for your wellies.

If you’re driving, please be aware that tautologies

of frozen ice are still affecting some roads,

after a heavy and prolonged flurry of oxymorons.

And finally - from tomorrow evening -

expect to see the return of some light litotes,

making next week’s outlook hardly the best.

About Brian Bilston:

Brian Bilston writes poems.