As President Doug approaches the end of his term, our Jesters have lots of hints to help him ease into retirement.

Question:    How many days in a week? 

Answer:    6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday   

Question:    When is a retiree's bedtime? 

Answer:    Two hours after falling asleep on the couch.

Question:    What's the biggest gripe of retirees? 

Answer:    There is not enough time to get everything done.   

Question:    Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors? 

Answer:    The term comes with a 10% discount

Question:  What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?   

Answer :  NUTS !!!

Question :   Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?

Answer:    They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question:    What is the best way to describe retirement?

Answer:    The never-ending Coffee Break.

Question:    What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? 

Answer:    If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.     

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:  'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?'  the reporter asked... 
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'

Jester No.1 gives us some insight:

I've sure gotten old! 
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.  I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.  Have bouts with dementia. 
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.  Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.   But, thank God, I still have my driver's licence.

Jester No.2 carries on:
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. 
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. 
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.  But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

Know how to prevent sagging? 
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

Finally Jester No.3 sums it up:
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. 
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs and have fun finding them.