Posted by The Jesters

The Jesters present what they claim to be a true story from  the "WordPerfect Helpline”.

They say it was transcribed  from a recording monitoring the customer care  department.

"Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help you?" 

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." 

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden  the words went away"
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like  now?"


"It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I type." 

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" 

"How do I tell?" 

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" 

"What's a sea-prompt?" 

"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?" 

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." 

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a  TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" 

"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see  that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if  it's plugged into the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice  that there were two cables plugged into the back of  it, not just one?"
 "Well, there are. I need you to look back there  again and find the other cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged  securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something  and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's  because it's dark."
 "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have  is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power failure."
"A power.......a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've  got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and  manuals and packing stuff your computer came  in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and  pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take  it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too bloody stupid to own a computer"


Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was  fired. However, he is currently suing the WordPerfect organisation for "Termination without  Cause." 

This has got to be one of the funniest yarns I've heard  in a long time. I think the guy should have been promoted, not fired. - Ed.


Royalty-free pictures from Pixabay and Wikipedia