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President’s Note

Wholehearted thanks to President Charles Tran and the members of the Rotary Club of Glenferrie for hosting what has become the annual Glenferrie-Hawthorn combined Christmas party at Kooyong.  
 
A relaxed, celebratory buzz pervaded the room as friends from both clubs enjoyed each other's company, the complimentary wine supplied by Charles Tran, the music of the Potted Palms and the obligatory visit from Santa. 
 
After the party, another large box of packaged food went off to Camcare to be included in hampers. Our full stocks of puddings and Christmas cakes have been sold, much to the relief of Phil Stewart. 
 
The party marked the end of what has been a busy and successful period for the Club leading into Christmas. The Boroondara Christmas Lunch was, as always, a huge success thanks to a great team effort by club members and friends of Rotary under the skilled leadership of Noel Halford and President Di Gillies from the Rotary Club of Balwyn. A special thanks to Graeme 'Smokey' Dawson for taking over the MC's role this year.
 
It's now time for a short break.  However, I am looking forward to another productive six months in the Chair as we continue our work towards strengthening the club and in service to the community.  The regular Tuesday Club meetings will begin again on 29 January 2019 with a likely meeting at Vision Australia on the evening of the preceding Wednesday.  Watch the website and email for news about club activities.  Remember also to sign up for the multidistrict conference in February.
 
Until we meet again in 2019 my very best wishes to you all and in the words of Charles Dickens: 
… dear Reader, on Christmas Day! Nearer and closer to our hearts be the Christmas spirit, which is the spirit of active usefulness, perseverance, cheerful discharge of duty, kindness and forbearance! It is in the last virtues especially, that we are, or should be, strengthened by the unaccomplished visions of our youth; for, who shall say that they are not our teachers to deal gently even with the impalpable nothings of the earth!
 
For anyone interested in enjoying the genius of Charles Dickens in "What Christmas is as we grow older", the full text can be found at http://www.classicreader.com/book/877/1/.
 
Ian Bentley
President
 
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A Rotary Christmas

What better way to celebrate Christmas, then to have dinner with friends?  Glenferrie Rotary were our hosts this year for our annual Christmas Dinner, and they gave us a lovely evening of friendship, complete with carols and a visit from Santa Claus. 
 
The star of the show was Ivy, daughter of Glenferrie President Charles Tran and Jan, who stole our hearts away. Here we see the proud parents introducing her to Glenis and Don Heath.
 
There are too many photos of the beautiful people to show here, but you may see some more at: https://photos.app.goo.gl/mFRwePs7g52R26Fi7
 

Rotary Boroondara Christmas Luncheon

For the 12th year running, Di Gillies (RC Balwyn) and Noel Halford organised the Rotary Boroondara Christmas Luncheon for two hundred and ten socially isolated residents of the City of Boroondara. 
 
That involved overseeing the entertainment program, food preparation, gifts, transport of guests and the venue. Smoky Dawson (RC Ivanhoe) was Master of Ceremonies, and Rosaleen Falkiner (with some donations from Second Bite) arranged the food and cooking. Ian Macfarlane’s team of Richard Owen, David Rush and Sheridan Brown bussed the less mobile residents to Camberwell High School, who had provided the venue free of charge, and students to provide technical support.
 
Rotarians from several clubs, family and friends all joined in to ensure everyone had an enjoyable Christmas Lunch. Noel Halford particularly appreciated the assistance of  regular volunteers Alec Withy, Wayne and Helen Worledge,  Susie White, and the Australian Vietnamese Association (Boroondara Senior Group) headed by Hanh Tran, who prepared the food and gave a donation.
The production line in the kitchen was going full bore.
 
DG Bronwyn Stephens and President Ian Bentley were among the waiters
 
Marjorie Halford ensured everyone was served: what a great job the young waiters did!
 
Entertainment for everyone, and a special “Happy Birthday to you” for one guest.
 
Every guest received a present, and of course it wouldn’t be Rotary without a raffle (DG Bronwyn drew the tickets and Noel handed out the prizes)
 
Guests and volunteers all wanted a photo with Santa, who has slimmed down a bit since last year.  (perhaps he’s been at an “elf“ resort – Ed.) 
 
Did I say everybody wanted a photo with Santa?  Even a “selfie” 
 
Noel Halford thanked the volunteers and presented Di Gillies with flowers.    
 
MC Smoky Dawson made sure DG Bronwyn was on the right track, and then wished everybody “Merry Christmas” 
 
DG Bronwyn Stephens kindly gave us a nod on the Rotary  District 9800 Discussion Page at https://www.facebook.com/groups/D9800discussion/10156886258453850/

Jest for laughs

They're corny and seldom improve with the telling, but Christmas lunch wouldn't be complete without the chorus of groans that corny cracker jokes always provoke. Here are a few of our favourite all-time classics....
 
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? 
Claustrophobia!
 
What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party? 
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
 
 Knock, knock Who's there? 
Arthur 
Arthur who?  
Arthur any mince pies left?
 
How do you know if Santa's been in your garden? 
You've got three extra hoes.
 
What’s a dog’s favourite carol?
Bark, the herald angels sing.
 
What do snowmen have for breakfast?
Snowflakes.
 
What does Father Christmas do when his elves misbehave?
He gives them the sack.
 
Why was the turkey in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drumsticks!
 
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps
 
Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
He was picking his nose
 
What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
"It's Christmas Eve"
 
What did Santa do when he went speed dating?
He pulled a cracker!
 
What did Cinderella say when her photos didn’t arrive on time?
One day my prints will come.
 
Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had no body to go with.
 
Ths Shadow Knows!
What are the best-selling Christmas songs of all time?
Number one: ‘White Christmas’, with ‘well over’ 100 million sales. Number two: ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’, not far behind. It’s what you’d think.
 
After that, there’s Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire’, written by Bob Wells and Mel Tormé during a hot California summer. Wells jotted down ‘lyrics about winter as a way of mentally keeping cool.’ Tormé looked at the list: Jack Frost, Eskimos and so on. ‘I think you’ve got a song here,’ he said.
 
 
For those that are offended by "Baby it's cold outside", The Shadow suggests not listening to any Christmas song. Here's why.......
 
1. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus  - subjecting minors to softcore porn
2. The Christmas Song: Open fire? Pollution.-  Folks dressed up like Eskimos? Cultural appropriation
3. Holly Jolly Christmas: Kiss her once for me? -  Unwanted advances 
4. White Christmas  - Racist 
5. Santa Claus is Coming to Town - Sees you when you’re sleeping? Knows when you’re awake? Peeping Tom stalker 
6. Most Wonderful Time of the Year  -  Everyone telling you be of good cheer? Forced to hide depression 
7. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - Bullying
8. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas -  Forced gender-specific gifts: dolls for Janice and Jen and boots and pistols (GUNS!) for Barney and Ben
9. Santa Baby - Gold digger, blackmail 
10. Frosty the Snowman -  Sexist; not a snow woman and satanic due to magic and witchcraft
11. Do You Hear What I Hear? - blatant disregard for the hearing impaired
12. Jingle Bell Rock: Giddy up jingle horse, pick up your feet - animal abuse 
13. Mistletoe and Holly - Overeating, folks stealing a kiss or two? How did this song ever see the light of day?
14. Winter Wonderland - Parson Brown demanding they get married…forced partnership 
15. I'll Be Home For Christmas - Not if you are homeless. That's just Insensitive
16. Grandma got ran over by a reindeer -  Homicide. Extremely violent and promotes alcoholism.
 
 
Christmas, the Christian festival, is actually a version of ancient Druid and Norse winter festivals. Druids burned logs during the dark days to ward off evil spirits; Vikings celebrated ‘Jul’, another name for Odin the Sun God. Hence Yule logs.
Christmas absorbed, adapted and eventually replaced all this old stuff. But it’s still in there, just as Cliff Richard’s ‘Mistletoe and Wine’ might be faintly remembered in 1,000 years’ time.
 
Everything gets braided together. You’ll be sitting there, pulling crackers or talking about the old days with Morecambe and Wise and the Two Ronnies, but really you’re reliving the Roman festival of Saturnalia, toasting the idea of sol invictus on the shortest day, the ‘birthday of the everlasting sun’.
 

Upcoming Speakers

Watch this space!
 

Coming Events

KOOYONG TENNIS CLASSIC   -    CAR PARKING
Tuesday 8th to Thursday 10th January 2019
World No. 5, 6 & 7,  the "Battle of the Families", US stars CoCo Vandeweghe, Jack Sock & Amanda Anisimova at Kooyong... the 2019 Kooyong Classic is shaping up to be a stellar field!
Have you told Noel Halford you are available to help run the car park?  0419 018 901 or noelhalford@gmail.com
 
 
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Make-ups and Apologies

Kim D'Arcy always seeks to finalize numbers by Monday 8.30am by collating  responses about attendance at the next meeting.   So please try to email back to her by that time; and, at the same time, forewarn of any guests.   (Predicting our numbers as closely as possible helps to minimize our catering costs.) kimcco@tpg.com.au

Geoff Wright collates the attendance information.  He needs to know of  "make up " events.  geoffbwright@bigpond.com

Club Roster 

CLUB MEETING DUTIES      
If you cannot perform your duty, please find a replacement or contact Charles Morrison

 

 

  Xmas Day

  

   29th January

 Greeting/Badges      

   

No Meeting

 

     TBA

 Front Desk

 

 

 

       N Canon

 Credit Cards

 

 

 

       J Benhamou

 Set & Clear Up  

 

 

 

       P.Stewart

 MC        

 

  

  

          TBA

 

ClubRunner
Hawthorn Rotary P.O. Box 33, Hawthorn, Victoria 3122, Australia.
Web:  www.hawthornrotary.org.au